rah rah. ah ah ah. roma. romama.

Erin says to not be so hard on myself. She read my last post and reminded me that Micah Perks has sage advice - grad school for creative writing is nowhere as good for the person right out of school than the person who waitressed for a couple of years (what she did) and then goes back to school.

I think that's what I'm going to do. Because let's face it, what I like doing is teaching and what I like doing is reading and editing work. I like a creative life, and I believe that's what I can offer myself.

In the meantime, I'm still managing to work without a day off until Max and I leave for Sundance. I have worked every day since the 7th or so. so it will be about 20 days in the row. And I wonder why I'm sick.

I'm going to find aspirin. And coffee. I'm going to perk up, and eat something filling and get myself to work on time. Those socks won't sell themselves.

there's a place i know.

I have not yet gotten the hang of San Francisco.

I keep thinking about it, though. All of it, all of what I'm doing and all the work and everything, and it's all so very... I don't know! Words are failing me. They aren't lining themselves up neatly to be transcribed from gray squelch electronic spasms into typing. All I know and all I can say is that I work too much. I need to work less. I want to only work 30 hour weeks so that I can actually enjoy this city that I live in.

I like selling socks and apple computer machines and fries and stuffed animals and all of that, but I'm ready to be doing something more up my alley. More me. I guess that's why I have been spending my time with my computer strapped to my back, ready for adventure (the type I write) in case it strikes.

So I don't know. Lots of options here. I need to live more cheaply to live more fully. I like my decadence but I can't afford it. I will have to be decadent in other ways. I have to choose more selectively, the decadence I partake in. Nice coffee beans, not a nice coffee place. Nice ingredients, not a nice restaurant.

Maybe I'll get good at the living part, and then I can start getting better at the adventuring bit.

Also, until friday, I have 29 dollars. Unless I sell a stuffed animal, a story, or my moped. I hope to sell all three.

A bientot.